Thursday, December 17, 2009

Christmas program & cookies!

So the last 2 out of 3 nights I haven’t had class. I don’t know what to do with myself! Granted, on Monday night, I was studying for my test on Tuesday, but still, I had plenty of “free” time. I don’t watch much TV…and because I haven’t been consistent with any programs, there isn’t much that interests me. I have a couple of books I’ve started, but I save those for reading during my lunch hour at my desk. So…what do I do? The computer is the worst time sucker there is. You go to a favorite page, then there are links that take you to another page, links on that page…well, you get the drift. I have also been staying up until at least 10 because I don’t want to get back into the habit of going to bed at 8:30 pm, because when school starts again in mid-January, that won’t be an option. I am maintaining my school schedule of waking and sleeping to keep my body’s clock consistent. Which brings me right back to…what do I do with myself?

Ailani has a Christmas program at school tonight, so that is a huge plus that I’ll be able to attend. She is in pre-kindergarten (whoever heard of pre-kinder?), and they are so cute when they perform. Last year she was in pre-pre-kindergarten (I don’t know what it is called, but it was prior to this pre!). It is about an hour long program of singing Christmas songs, and acting out certain holiday themed scenes. Cookies and punch are offered after the performance. When Carlos was in grade school, and he had programs or awards ceremonies, his dad would sometimes go, sometimes he didn’t feel like it. When his dad didn’t go, we would stay for the cookies and punch after, but when his dad attended, we never stayed because he didn’t want to, so we’d all have to go home. So last year, after Ailaini’s program, Carlos and I just looked at each other and I immediately knew what he was thinking…I asked if they were staying for treats and he said, “you bet!”. I stayed too! Funny, how our children teach us the most important lessons in life…and its not about the cookies and punch, really, its about spending time together, in true spirit, with those we love.

Talk soon…

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Stop the mind...breathe...

I had my Clinical Foundations practical last night. I was scheduled at 8 pm, so I didn’t even have to be there until that time. I grabbed a quick soup for dinner, and arrived at school before 7 pm. The schedule had been changed, and the instructors were running behind. I was now scheduled at 7:30 pm with a different instructor. I didn’t get tested until 9:15 pm!! The waiting was the worst part. The more I waited, the tenser I became. The main instructor came in about 8:45 pm just to see how we were doing (there were only 2 of us left), and I just lost it. Quickly recovered, but I just felt off, my nerves were already frazzled. I sat off by myself, took some deep breaths, closed my eyes…silence. She asked if I was ok, and said that it would be fine. It was finally my turn, and though it went very well, 120/122…so now as I drove home, I’m all wound up! Talk about the gamut of emotions, peaks, valleys. It is over. I have my last class (the very last class of the quarter) on Saturday…should be easy, just doing massage on two people that I invited. This quarter was tough…stressful, long and drawn out! I feel drained today. Didn’t sleep well, woke up early…my mind is so tired!

I am currently reading Diary of a Medical Intuitiveby Christel Nani, RN PhD. Christel was a nurse for many years in some of New York City’s busiest ER’s. She talks about how very early in life her intuition was very strong. She knew when a neighbor was going to die, even though he was the picture of health at the time. She even mentioned it to her family during dinner, and when it did happen 3 days later, she felt that because she had thought and voiced it, it manifested. The neighbor actually had an undiagnosed heart problem. It took her many years, not just to acknowledge the gift of intuition, but after coming to terms with it, she become somewhat of an outcast among her peers – they were afraid she would intuit some disease or condition about them! She just knew what was wrong with her patients when they came into the ER, even when CAT scans and MRI’s failed to show conditions and/or diseases. We all have an energy field in our bodies produced by our cells, naturally. The energies in this field vibrate at frequencies that change depending on your health. If you are healthy, energy vibrates at a high frequency. When you are not well, the vibration is at a low frequency. This is called an aura, and can actually be seen. The energy fields within the body are the chakras. Many conditions originate from energy imbalances or shutdowns in the body that do not allow the energy in the body to flow freely. I’m only on the 4th chapter, but I find its very interesting.

I have bags and bags of clothes and shoes to donate to Goodwill. I used to give my gently used clothes to a cousin, but I don’t see her that often, so I ended up just sitting on it for a while. Isn’t the whole purpose of cleaning out closets and drawers to get rid of stuff? I hope to have a couple more drawers cleaned out by the weekend. How about the pantry? I’ll buy an ingredient for a recipe, then I won’t make the recipe or have tons of ingredients left over that eventually sit in the pantry and go bad anyway. Wine, beer, OJ…its all old!

Talk soon…

Monday, December 14, 2009

Grading myself...

President Obama, in an interview with 60 Minutes, was asked to grade himself on the last year…he gave himself a solid B+. To me, an A would mean stellar performance, and I have to agree that his was lacking a bit. This got me thinking…what grade would I give myself for 2009? There were so many facets to my life in 2009, I would give myself a C-. There were more than a few areas that I was more than a bit lacking!

-Chris, his family, marriage – my actions at the time were based on the information I had at the time. I still don’t approve of Chris’ behavior, although I wish I would have talked to him more, perhaps by talking to him, putting things into perspective for all of us, I could have helped him through the situation better. Our relationship is on the mend, so 2010 will be a time for healing.

-Although I am doing ok in my classes, I believe I could have done better. I strive for straight A’s…did I ever get all A’s, no. I discussed this with my coach and she said that none of my future clients will ever ask me what my grades in school were prior to me giving them a massage. They will just assume that because I am doing massage in a professional capacity via certification, I know what I am doing. True, but why strive for mediocrity?? How can I expect less of myself? I just have to remember not to beat myself up (too badly!). I am expected to finish school at the end of June. I simply have to continue, for the next 6 months, to try my best, always. That is one of the Four Agreements, always do your best!

-I didn’t visit my parents as much as I should have. I miss my mom terribly, and even though we talk at least every other day, I still need to make an effort to go over more. I live on the other side of town from them, and I don’t like for them to make the trip driving. I used to go over and give my mom manicures, and though I have no idea how to actually give a manicure, just spending time with her, touching her hands, filing her nails, applying a new, fresh coat of nail polish (always in a bright color!), made her feel good. I know she cherished the moments as did I.

-I made a friend over the summer, what I thought was a quality relationship. I enjoyed her company immensely, our conversations about everything and nothing will remain with me always, however, she had some issues that I was unable to deal with. Perhaps that is more a reflection of me, than of her...so be it. As abruptly as it began, it ended. Bottom line, we cannot be friends, and because of this fact, it still haunts and remains in my thoughts. I pray that in time, we are healed.

-While I don’t have too much control over my work situation, as far as what my duties are, I have taken the attitude that my days here are numbered. Why put that out there? As in all things, I cannot change others, I can only control myself, my actions, my attitude, my perceptions, and deal with those. Why not entertain the possibility that I could work at my current employer? I would keep my seniority, still enjoy the many perks that come with the job, and just do something different. As a matter of fact, there are 3 openings in massage right now, part time, so I could still build up my own clientele while maintaining a job. At least until I decide where this is taking me. Change my thinking, change my life.

I talked in a previous entry about new year resolutions, and quite frankly, I don’t make them…my sense is why not start now, today. Why wait until the new year? Its like saying you will start a diet on Monday, then binging the weekend before!

There aren’t many people who know I am attending Massage Therapy school, and when I do tell them (friends and family), they are almost always surprised. Do they not think I can do it? Do they think I am too old to be embarking on such a change in careers? Do they just think my goals are too lofty? In any case, it kind of makes me think twice or second guess…not that I’m going to change my mind because I am too deeply embedded in it to quit. However, I hope I don’t give off the aura of being “haughty” with what I am doing. A colleague at work asked me about my weekend, and did I do anything special. She is one of the few who know about my other life, and we were talking about the marathon so I mentioned that I had given massages to the runners coming off the finish line…I wish I had a camera to capture the look on her face. Not that she was surprised that I am doing it, maybe just surprised that I could do it. She asked me if I was comfortable with it. Hmmm, maybe I’m being too sensitive. Every muscle in my body aches today!!

It started out being a cool morning, overcast, and it has turned out to be a pretty sunny day. It is supposed to be 70F on Wednesday! Go figure…talk soon…

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Tired and sore...

The Tucson Marathon started at 7 am from the town of Oracle and ended in Catalina, 26.2 miles. The first runner crossed the finish line right before 8:30 am. I think his name was Andrew, he completed the half marathon. 3,500 runners were expected to take part in the event on a course that dropped nearly 2,200 feet in elevation as the runners headed toward the finish line. It was a cool morning, perfect running weather...at the start, but it quickly became cold and windy. I heard from many of the runners how that wind whipped up and caused great resistance as they made their way home. Our tables were set up by 8 am...I started work on runners about 8:45 am. It was almost non-stop until 1 pm! I took a break about 11:45 am because I was already feeling my blood sugars dropping, so I had 1/4 of a banana, a tortilla with a thin spread of peanut butter, a handful of trail mix, and a Gatorade. Glen and I had breakfast at 5:30 am, so that helped. By the time the last massage ended, I needed a massage! Honestly, right now, my shoulders, legs and lower back are killing me. It was a great experience though...surely sports massage is a great specialized field to get into. There was one young woman who was suffering from hypothermia, and it took over 2 hours, and 6 blankets, to get her body back to core temperature. There were some EMT's closeby in case the situation worsened, it did not, thank goodness. I watched this one guy's calf muscle spasming, literally, you could see the muscle move as if electric...it was crazy! He said he'd never seen anything like that, and to sit there and watch his own body do that...

As it gets closer to Christmas, I find myself keeping busy or busier than usual because I don't like the holiday...growing up we didn't have a whole lot, although I didn't know it at the time, then in my previous life it was pretty much the same, so that is really I know. I've tried in the past couple of years to direct my toughts toward the true meaning of the season, but I find that so much of what I feel today is due to negative self talk, deep seeded beliefs (whether true or not), that just seem to grip me! To say that Christmas is so commercialized sounds cliche, but true. How do we turn the tide, change our thoughts, and celebrate the spirit in which it is meant? I suppose it starts within each one of us. Me...because I can only change myself, but it is a losing battle when retailers send out flyers with all their specials, mall parking lots are jam packed with shoppers, etc. Besides, my family would never go for it...they're as much into the gift buying/spending, and giving as anyone else. What happens to me? I follow. That is probably why I am so miserable this time of year. Perhaps it is time to let go of the past, I cannot change it, I can only learn from it. Embrace the here and now, the present, because, really, it is all I have. Tomorrow is promised to no one.

Then comes the new year when we look back and reflect on what we've done, what we haven't, then resolve to change it all...next year! Rarely do we accomplish this and we are right back to where we started! Lose weight, quit smoking, budget our money and time, eat healthy, whatever it is that we want to change in the new year, why not start now, today...get a head start kind of!

My, I am tired...my thoughts ramble...if you're still reading...good night! Talk soon...

Saturday, December 12, 2009

When can I breathe...

Mock clinic went well today. I paired up with a classmate that I'm not that comfortable with, but sometimes we just have to suck it up and do it. I am sure I'll have future clients that, for whatever reason, we may not "click". In any case, remain professional, provide the best treatment possible. I just don't feel her massages are helpful, by that...she is just all over the place. Her strokes don't flow, and it feels hodge podge. Maybe its just me. I did give her constructive feedback, and she appeared to take it well. She never asked me if I wanted hot or cold therapy (depends), didn't check in with me regarding pressure (I like deep), and she was unable to locate any trigger and/or tender points (we all have them), because she never spent enough time on any given area. As it turned out, I was able to release three trigger points for her...it is awesome, feeling the muscle moving right under your fingertips...it just kind of melts! I applied a hot pack to her upper traps to warm and loosen the muscles for deeper work. Then I moved the hot pack to her glutes for sciatic work. It was a good session, and she provided some good feedback as well. Two more classes to go until the quarter is over! I honestly can't believe I've come this far.

It was 68F here today, sunny!! WTF?? Its December. How am I to get into the Christmas mood if I'm wearing short sleeves?? There was so much traffic out today. It took me well over an hour to get home from school, and its usually a 35 minute drive. Snowbirds are back. I didn't even make it to the street fair. Crazy...

I stopped by Sunflower Market on the way home to pick up some healthy snacks. I will be doing massages at the Tucson Marathon on Sunday morning, a qualifing race for the Boston Marathon, and I know I'll need sustenance. Massage takes a lot of energy, its basically a workout. Race sponsors will have snacks and drinks for the practitioners, but I just want to make sure I have food instead of depending on someone else. Oh, and they're supposed to give us goodie bags (w/massage stuff)! I'm giving a classmate a ride to the venue; she lives on the other side of town. The venue is 10 minutes from my house...but she doesn't drive, so I asked if she needed a ride. It'll take us a good hour from her place to where the race ends.

All the kids and grandies pitched in to get mom and dad a TV for Christmas. The one they have in the living room is starting to go on the blink. Takes a while to warm up, and when it overheats (TV's aren't supposed to overheat, are they?) it turns off! I ordered it online two weeks ago and it arrive last week, but I just haven't had time to pick it up. We went tonight, and it is huge!! The unit itself is 46", but the box it is in is way bigger! It wouldn't even fit in my car...the clerk had to tie my trunk down, but the TV still didn't fit all the way in. My mom lives on the other side of town, and there is no way I'm going to drive it over there, on the freeway, in my car! Hope my sister can come pick it up.

I have some returns to the mall...it was crazy, I couldn't even find a parking, so it'll have to wait for another day. I am planning to go after work some day this week, now that I don't have class. I was able to stop by my favorite Borders though. Not like I need another book, so I bought 3! I'll give some as gifts...though who wants an anatomy book? Maybe I'll keep that one :)

Talk soon...

Friday, December 11, 2009

Boosting the immune system...

We received a memo from our corporate medical director regarding staying healthy especially during the flu season. Luckily, in our office, only one person has been sick, and that was bronchitis, which can be contagious…twice in 3 weeks!! I have hand sanitizer on my desk, use it frequently, tissues that I sneeze into (and dispose of in the proper receptacle, lest the recycling police are patrolling!). Wash my hands…a lot. Living a healthy lifestyle, eating well, don’t smoke, workout when I can, try to get enough sleep (I know I don’t!)…all help to build resistance to infection.

Anyway, what I found interesting (I’ve read it before so it’s not like we invented it), the notion that random acts of kindness actually boost the immune system! Help out a friend or stranger…open the door for someone, let someone go in front of you in the grocery store line if they have but a few items, let's not even talk about traffic - what about some courtesy (I know I can use this lesson!)…whatever “act of kindness” means to you, display it! Too many times I’ve let opportunities slip by me because I felt foolish for offering to do something for someone…”what if they refuse me”, “what if…” So what?? Let me point out that we/I should practice this everyday, not just the holidays. C’mon…what are you waiting for??

We had a bake sale at work with proceeds going toward local families in need. There are several departments who get together to bake and offer these goodies at very reasonable prices, each baggie is .50, and the items are packaged several cookies/breads in a bag, etc. I picked up some pretzels covered in a light white peppermint icing, a peppermint brownie sprinkled with powdered sugar, some pumpkin bread and some oatmeal cookies (chewy just as I like ‘em!). No, I didn’t eat it all…I shared with my colleagues back on my floor. The homemade stuff flies off the table first, and if you go even 30 minutes after start time, you are left with store bought items. Not that there is anything wrong with that, and I realize people are busy and don’t have time to bake, however, who doesn’t prefer a homemade cookie to a store bought one?? Because I work at a health resort, sweet offerings like this (made with butter AND real sugar) aren’t even offered in our diner or to our guests, rather “healthy” versions are the option. The diner makes a gingerbread cookie, in-house, that is outta this world!!...and its made with organic sugar…so it can’t be that bad for you huh??

Tomorrow’s class is mock clinic where we get to practice all the steps we will need when we actually meet the public next quarter. This is comprised of visual postural assessment, intake interview, an actual 60 minute massage, the closing interview, and saying goodbye. Next week, we bring two clients (people we invite) to the clinic, and do the same. So tomorrow is kind of a dress rehearsal…we even have to dress the part, and we will be graded on the whole package we present. I think I’ve done well in this class, and I haven’t missed any classes so I haven’t given up participation points. When we start clinical duty next quarter, the client (public) will give us feedback at the end of the treatment, which only serves to improve our skills. The Monday class next quarter is special populations clinic where we are partnered with a client who has some type of pathology, i.e., diabetes, fibromyalgia, cardiovascular disease (under control), etc.,and we will work with this same person for 4 weeks designing a treatment plan and executing it. We will be establishing a client/practitioner relationship with this person for the duration of the assignment. I am excited beyond words…I truly believe this is my calling!

It has been cold her in the desert…well, as cold as the desert gets! We had some rain at the beginning of the week, and now we are basking in the sunshine again…albeit 60F or so. There is a street fair this weekend where vendors set up their arts and crafts just in time for the holiday season. I love these types of shows, people are so creative, and getting out into the sun boosts vitamin D production! One time, maybe 15 years ago, it snowed! Brrr....

Talk soon…

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Power of Friendship...

I don’t have many friends. As a matter of fact, I probably have one good friend that I can say with the utmost confidence has been with me through thick and thin, for the last 8 years or so. Other than my family, who kind of have to like me or at the very least, they are stuck with me, I can count on Alisha. Alisha is 21 years my junior, and I used to think, why would she be hanging out with me?? I’m an old lady…well, not super old, but hey, I have a few years on her for sure! That’s not to say I haven’t had friends throughout the years, its just that to have friends, you have to be a friend. I’m a really crappy friend. It has to be a two way street. One calls the other, just to chat, then the other person calls the next time. It isn’t one-sided, but it isn’t consuming either. When you go to lunch or breakfast, one pays one time, then the next time the other person pays…it’s a two way street. When one person is doing the calling, and one person pays all the time (not necessarily the same person), resentment can grow, and the relationship usually changes or fizzles out. That hasn’t happened to Alisha and I. We’ve never even had an argument or disagreement! We lead very separate lives; our work is vastly different; I am married, she is not; I have grown children and grandkids; she has never been married and has no children. There are times when we don’t speak for weeks at a time, maybe even 2 months go by and we haven’t talked…however, at least once a week, I’ll text her or she’ll text me…just to say hi, I’m thinking of you. We don’t try to control each others’ time, she doesn’t get mad or hurt because I can’t go for a walk this weekend; I don’t feel slighted when she hangs out with other friends…I respect her time, energy, to focus on her needs, as she does mine. That is true friendship! We’ll have breakfast sometime in the next couple of weeks when I’m on break and it will be as if no time has elapsed...we’ll just pick up where we left off. I haven’t seen her since September…and I’m sure I’ll be giving her a massage!

As with most girly things…our conversations can go from fashion to spirituality to relationships, the weather…second hand store shopping…and everything in between. We’ve often wondered if someone were to listen to snippets of our conversation, what they would think. This brings to mind a memory…we were walking in Sabino Canyon…it was very early, the sun wasn’t even up yet, and we were talking about…sex, of course! Anyway, we were so engrossed in our conversation that we didn’t notice a guy walking a few feet behind us. I am sure he could hear our discussion, and he could have passed us many times as we weren’t walking that fast, but I think he was rather enjoying eavesdropping on our titillating tête-à-tête! We sped up to the point that my calves (gastrocnemius and soleus muscles are actually the correct terms) were cramping…we just wanted to get away. We passed him on our return hike, and he smiled at Alisha! This has happened to us as we’ve sat in our favorite Starbucks on many other occasions. We surely have lots to say!

Finished my APP and MAK classes last night (Anatomy, Physiology & Pathology, Muscles and Kinesiology), with a 94% & 93% respectively. I was shocked to have received these grades. Believe me, if you knew how much I’ve struggled this quarter…you’d be surprised too!! I have two more sessions in each of my last two classes left, then we’re off for about 3 weeks!! I plan to do massage, and study. My house will just have to wait until spring for a thorough cleaning or maybe until school ends!

What else…what else…

Oh, Glen’s family will be making Polish sausage this weekend. This is equivalent to our tamale making which is the following Sunday. Both endeavors are equally time consuming, physically challenging (lots of standing and hunching over), but well worth the work when bonding with family, telling old stories, jokes, drinking coffee all day long…then we get to enjoy the fruits of our labor…mmmm, sausage…mmmm, tamales!! I don’t think I’ll do too much baking this year…just no time! Last year, I tried some new recipes and sent the goodies to Glen’s work for the guys in the shop. Whether the cookies and bars were good or not, they ate ‘em up! We just don’t eat very many sweets, and I am really watching my food intake, not just how much I’m eating, but what I am eating as well.

Hope your Thursday has been a great one! Talk soon…

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Got Trash

The end of the second quarter is in sight…I can see it…I can feel it! I want to continue to practice when I am on break, so I’ve e-mailed my friends and family offering a complimentary massage! It will be good practice and preparation for my continuing studies. I have the equipment needed – have table will travel J We also have an opportunity to do sports massage at a marathon event this weekend. Brrr, it’ll be a little nippy at 7 am when the race starts!!

I have a presentation on Wednesday, the last Anatomy, Pathology & Physiology class on Osteoporosis: How to Prevent or Delay the Onset. I had a DEXA scan last year, and the results showed my bones are comparable to that of a 35 year old woman! Hmmm, don’t know about that, but it provides a benchmark. I do walk a lot, which is a weight bearing exercise, so perhaps it is so. Exercise, especially weight bearing, resistance/strength training, and balance activities, are important keys. Proper nutrition, with fair amounts of calcium and vitamin D are also crucial. It is never too late to start, even if you are “mature” in age, starting an exercise routine can delay the onset, or at least prevent your bones from becoming too brittle. It is even possible to have a spontaneous fracture…the bone will just break! Spinal, hip and wrist are the most common injuries, especially in females, and once menopause hits, 3-10 years post, the risks increase significantly. I also have a presentation on the illiacus muscle, attached to the anterior iliac crest. Strange muscle, not easy to palpate, you have to curl your fingers under the muscle just to access a portion of it. Having the client flex the knee and contract the hip, while I resist the contraction, will make the muscle pop under the fingers. Fascinating!

The weather has been cold and blustery…I love it!! I like wearing jackets, scarves, gloves…of course, it doesn’t last long, and it’ll be April before you know it, and we’ll be right back to enjoying the absolutely beautiful weather we are so used to. While I say I like cold weather, I’ve never lived in really harsh, snow, blizzard like conditions, shoveling and driving in the white stuff. No, my idea of cold vs the reality of cold…I’ll take what I have any day! Though it is great hiking, walking weather J

We have a recycling program at work. Each work station has a trash can and a recycle can. We were informed a couple of weeks ago that the recycling program is costing us money! Apparently, people are mixing, or just not being careful of disposing waste in the proper receptacle. For example, you cannot put tissue in the recycling bin. You cannot put a paper towel or a used paper plate in the recycling bin either because it contaminates the recyclable material. The company that picks up our recycling determines whether the waste is clean enough to be recycled, and if not, it is hauled to the landfill, where you have to pay to dump...thus, the charge is passed on to us. I just learned that there is a weekly list generated that calls you out if your recycling is contaminated, AND whether you are trashing stuff that should be recycled!! A “citation” is issued, and your manager is notified. I don’t know the ramifications, whether you are written up if you get too many tickets, but it almost makes me not want to recycle, or put any trash where it goes! Maybe I’ll just take my trash home…pack it in and pack it out! What about my desk, in a common area, someone puts their water bottle in my trash can?? I didn’t do it, but it is my trash can. And that tissue…who determines whether it is a dirty tissue, is someone going through my trash and recycling bins looking for my used Kleenex? Ugh…

Talk soon…