Checking in...

As of my last post, the company I work for has layed off 75 people! I was not one of them, but I still feel so bad for many of my friends that left. This company has never had to lay off before, other than after 9/11, but even then they re-organized, and were able to place people in other positions instead of laying them off, unless they were under performers. The dust settled last week, the last batch left last Friday. We had a company wide meeting on Tuesday, and it was so hard to watch the founder address us. He said that he has always thought of us, the employees, as a family, his kids, and for a parent to have to make the tough decisions as the business had to do, was one of the hardest things he's done. His voice cracked right then...I thought I was going to lose it too! This man is truly a gem...he knows names, knows what everyone does, and truly cares. He and his wife founded the business almost 30 years ago, and now is grooming his granddaughter and her husband to take over, eventually. There are employees that have been there since day 1. I have spoken to very few people working there that don't thoroughly enjoy what they do. There are also other changes, such as the lunches we have available. A daily entree, with two sides was $2.75, and you could always substitute the entree with a different one if you didn't like the offering. Starting today, there is a daily special, two entrees, for $5.25, which really is still a bargain. This food is organic, healthy, and because we are in a fairly remote location, going off property to find a fast food place, plus the $$ for gas, and getting back in 1 hour is highly unlikely...and stressful! The company was subsidizing much of the cost of the food, and now they just can't. The savings also helps to keep our insurance premiums down.

I went to a lecture on Tuesday evening that was interesting and provided much food for thought. The name was: Self Awareness: An extraordinary journey based on Heuristics. A couple of quotes struck me:

"Each of us has an image of what we think we are or what we should be, and that image, that picture, entirely prevents us from seeing ourselves as we actually are" - Krishnamurti

"You dissolve discord, heal pain, dispel unconsciousness - without doing anything - simply by being and holding that frequency of intense presence" - Eckhart Tolle from the Power of Now

I have found that much of who I was, was what others wanted me to be. I was not myself, my true self for so many years. I went from my parents home as a daughter, to being a wife and mother at 18 years old! I never had time to find out who I was, so I became the notion of what everyone else thought I should be. Just in the last 10 years, have I become more myself, more aware of my feelings, by just observing myself. What things bother me, which ones don't, by just being aware of it. I've noticed that when I should get mad, I don't. I tend to choose my words carefully, trying not to hurt, as words so often do. I also realize that I am so very blessed. I journal a lot, which helps to put my thoughts in front of me so that I can re-read what I wrote. There are times that I cannot read the pain I've experienced. By not observing it, how have I learned from it?? Life...a work in progress.

I went to another lecture today...Mantras & Malas. Very interesting. The presenter gave us some mantras, their meanings, and just said try them. There will be one that fits your need. The ones we went over today were in sanskrit, but you can have a mantra in any language. She also had some samples of malas, beads, much like a rosary, but these have 108 beads, based on the Hindu tradition. It is kind of like a rosary, which has 54 beads (double 54=108!). Not that I can explain it all, but it was so very interesting. Oh, I also did a yoga class yesterday.

I signed up for a December fitness challenge at work. The rule is that you must work out everyday in December! The exercise can be of your choice, and must be at least 30 minutes or 2 miles per day. Totally do-able huh?? There is no prize other than the satisfaction that no weight was gained (if you balance your caloric intake and not pig out!) in the most festive, food filled month of the year! I know I can do it, but will I? I simply must now, it is out there.

Talk soon...