Whew...

In my previous life, I used to get sick every Christmas. A few days before the holiday, I’d start to get a sore throat, feel feverish, stuffed head…by the time the 24th rolled around, I was miserable with a full fledged, all symptoms (and then some) cold! I tried hard to power through Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, so as not to ruin it for the kids. It almost became a running joke, if mom’s sick, it must be Christmas…that was the only time of year I would be sick. Of course, the ex would get mad, fuel the fire with the kids by telling them “mom ruined Christmas”, and even accused me of getting sick on purpose!! The holidays were so stressful for me, pressure to buy, buy, buy, no money to buy, no one understood that, except me because, while I tracked the checkbook, he would withdraw money all the time, not tell me, and any money left over was to pay the bills. Sometimes and usually, it wasn’t enough. Perhaps I did get sick on purpose, not that I purposely contracted germs, rather just running myself ragged trying to do everything because I had to. I baked, decorated, wrapped, cooked, cleaned…I was a domestic diva, though I didn’t feel like one at the time. Not to mention I was in a miserable relationship I felt had no resolution other than to continue…hey, wasn’t everyone like this? I’ve been out of that toxic environment for over 11 years now, and I still don’t like the holidays. I don’t feel quite the stress of years gone by, but so many of those feelings still persist, the nagging voice from the past still echoes in my head, and while I don’t pay it too much mind, it does surface every year, I acknowledge it, and let it go. Really, what else can I do? Oh, and I haven’t been sick for the holidays in about 11 years now!

We made 46 dozen of tamales! That is 552 units. Wow…that is the most we’ve ever made at one time. We wanted each person to have 10 dozen, my mom got 15 dozen because we all go over on Christmas Eve and tamales are part of the meal. We used the kitchen counter to assemble vs the kitchen table, and it really helped because it is a little higher and you don’t hunch over quite as much. Because in massage school I really have to pay attention to my body mechanics, I’m not that tired today, or even last night. I made an effort to shift the weight on my feet often, not locking my knees, sneakers with socks (good support), and taking a break about every 90 minutes. My sisters chose not to take as many breaks, they wore house slippers (no support, hello!) We started at 9 am, finished by 6 pm. Mom finally went home at about 5 pm, only when we insisted. I know she was exhausted, her back was hurting. She’s 74…she has to understand she can’t do what she did, even a few years ago. She was a trooper though, and of course, she loves to dish out instructions!

I work all week, except Friday, and rumor has it that Thursday is a half day. I have so much to do still. I have lots of wrapping to do, which I absolutely despise doing. I toned it down this year…each of the grandkids got a book and an outfit…still, 6 grandies, and that’s quite a bit of stuff. They get so many things…its really obscene! Both my daughters in law, though make an effort to clean out last years’ stuff and donate to friends or the many charities that can use the help.

Talk soon...